Survivors find a way to make their dearly departed shine

ST. LOUIS — Country singer Billy Joe Shaver once wrote, "I'm just an old chunk of coal, but I'm gonna be a diamond someday."

When William Lucas' mother died nearly two years ago, he unwittingly gave an extra measure of validation to Shaver's song as he kept her memory close at hand.

The general contractor from Kitty Hawk, N.C., had some of "Momma Luke's" ashes converted into three synthetic blue diamonds, each about a third of a carat. One is set into his wedding band.

"The analogies are endless — Mom was radiant in life, a real gem," Lucas, 50. "I can't express the connectedness I feel with this on my hand."

The diamonds were the work of LifeGem, a 3-year-old company based in suburban Chicago, that said it has crafted close to 1,000 of the diamonds for about 500 families in a business that is steadily growing.

The company markets the diamonds in several countries, saying they offer a "closeness and mobility" you can't get from the traditional forms of commemoration, a tombstone at a burial site or an urn of ashes.

"I think more people are looking for more personal ways to remember somebody," says Dean VandenBiesen, LifeGem's vice president of operations. "Rather than having ongoing mourning for someone's loss, people are wanting to celebrate a life."

Lucas read about Lifegem before his mother's January 2003 death from cancer at age 73. Always frugal, he recalled she initially objected to the cost but acknowledged "once I take my last breath, it matters not."

He fulfilled her wish to be cremated and have her ashes scattered under the azaleas at an Episcopal church in Charlotte, N.C., but kept enough to have the three diamonds at a total cost of $9,000. Two stones will go to his college-age daughters after their studies are over, he said.

"I'm so pleased that I went ahead and did it," he said. "I had my doubts and trepidations, but to me these gems are priceless, just like my mother."

LifeGem uses 8 ounces of a person's ashes, typically less than a tenth of a person's total cremated remains, to make a diamond through a process that can take a few months. Carbon extracted from the ashes is subjected to the extremes of heat and pressure, and the resulting stone is cut and faceted like any gem.

Prices vary from about $2,500 for a quarter carat to about $14,000 for a full carat, VandenBiesen said.