From Deseret News archives:
A Christmas wish list for the who's who in news
Bob Bennett: A good explanation of how he blew through $1.8 million in a cakewalk election and an additional 37,103 votes to best George W. Bush as the state's highest vote-getter;
Orrin Hatch: A committee chairmanship and multiple opportunities to remind everyone within earshot that he IS running again.
Michael Leavitt: An Enlibra-like word to use at HSS (perhaps "Enmedicaidra").
Mitt Romney: Someone to actually purchase his Olympic memoir, "Turnaround" (which ranks 85,350th on the Amazon sales list).
Harry Reid: Recognition that you can be a good Mormon and the nation's most powerful Democrat.
Jon Huntsman Jr.: At least one person who sincerely believes conducting the State of the State speech in Fillmore is a good idea.
Jim Matheson: Utah Republicans rehire the same political and media consultants from the National Republican Congressional Committee for the 2006 election.
Mark Shurtleff: GOP conservatives suffer short-term memory loss and forget his opposition to Amendment 3.
John Valentine and Greg Curtis: The Legislature continues its current relationship with the executive branch (legislators call the shots).
Utah lobbyists: No more talk about limiting the legislative session to every two years (Hey, we have to make a living!).
Merrill Cook: One more political campaign. Just one more!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A constitutional amendment.
Legislators: No more talk about ethics and gift bans (at least until the next election).
Democrat legislators: Republican legislators at least pretend to listen to them.
Republican legislators: House and Senate members at least pretend to like each other.
Donald Dunn: More Republican scandals.
George Soros: A reasonable price to buy Canada as a "No Bush Zone."
Joe Cannon: A reprieve from Jon Huntsman Jr. cleaning house at the State Republican Party.
Rob Bishop: An appointment with John Kerry's barber; no one confuses his vote against the "Government Intelligence" bill as opposition to intelligence in government.
Nancy Workman: A sympathetic jury.
Jason Chaffetz: Republicans don't find out that he is related by marriage to Michael Dukakis and ran his presidential campaign in Utah.
Gayle Ruzicka: Peace on Earth and no free will for men (or women).
Gary Herbert: Jon Huntsman Jr. (and everyone else) remembers who he is.
Utah liberal Democrats: A way to convince Utahns that liberals have values.
Major League Soccer: Utahns who will attend games.
University of Utah: A Fiesta Bowl that's about the players and the game, not about Urban Meyer.
BYU: A "flexible" honor code for student athletes.
