But Utah law doesn't require it — or any teaching experience, for that matter. And districts do their own thing.

"The thing about substitute teaching," said former newspaperman Joe Lenge, a full-time substitute in Salt Lake City schools, "is they throw you in the lions' den."

Erickson's training consisted of a handbook and instructions to report to jobs 15 minutes early for orientation — which was, "Here's your room number; here are the rolls."

Speckman got a protracted orientation on an automated phone system that later would jolt him out of bed with teaching gigs.

The others learned about district procedures. Warner had a crash course on education and was encouraged to write goals. Cook learned how to handle medical emergencies, received a handbook with maps, phone numbers and tips, and bought a $5 book of activity ideas.

Granite District has a Ferrari of sub training in its mandatory all-day course on classroom management, planning and teaching techniques. Subs don't seem to mind the $25 fee, officials say.

The STI recommends 12 hours of training in a sub's first year and eight hours a year thereafter. Its training manuals are thorough, addressing basics from what to wear or bring to detailed classroom management and discipline role play.

Empowering stuff.

But we all learned this, quickly: Nothing arms you for reality like the real thing.

One of Warner's charges decided he'd sketch a rude rendering of a female classmate. When she privately talked with him about the transgression, the child revealed he rarely sees his parents. The talk also uncovered that he wants to become an "Army man" when he grows up so he can "shoot up all the bad guys."

No one taught us how to deal with a child's anger.

Lesson plans are key

We did anticipate kids would become unruly, especially if they breezed through lessons. So we armed ourselves with time-filling activities, from brain teasers to Pictionary.

Those stretch only so far.

Erickson's students in one class preferred launching projectiles into a fish tank, out the window or at each other in the final minutes of class. Escape attempts also were popular.

We found when teachers left more challenging lesson plans, kids stayed on task, and our jobs were much easier.

A couple of Cook's classes crammed in silent reading, a test, an in-class essay and a homework assignment in a single class period. Most students were too busy to give her a hard time.