"We ignore them. We look through them," Bowles said. "As long as there is some semblance of order, generally, administrators are pleased with what's happening."

Some rocky spots

Our classes were orderly and the students mostly enjoyable.

But there were eruptions.

One of Warner's second-grade students tore up his assignment, then spit in her face.

She didn't know if that was bad enough to send him to the principal's office, so she ordered the boy to stay indoors during recess. He disobeyed. Lacking the energy to concoct a punishment, she directed the boy to stay in from recess when his teacher got back. He'd worn her down.

Erickson and Cook handled some energetic teenagers by snapping fingers and saying, "Eyes up here!" or "Gentlemen, please!" A few kids sneaked in contraband like headphones and poker cards; confiscation worked there. Others found titillating entertainment in textbook anatomy sketches; nothing worked there. And a couple ditched class, with an unsuspecting sub's blessing, to go "take tests."

Oops.

Jordan school officials aren't required to check on subs to see how things are going. But "that doesn't mean you were alone," said Jolene Jolley, who oversees subs there. Hall monitors, administrators and teachers keep a lookout — and an open door for subs who ask for help.

One of Speckman's students drew a picture with a person holding a gun. Speckman consulted several adults in the office. He decided to go with the principal's advice: Let the child finish the drawing, address it "To Mom," and school officials would make sure she got it.

Sometimes the problem isn't the kids. It's the sub.

Once, Alpine District officials told temps-in-training, a former dentist and lay religious leader-turned-sub apparently tangled with a high school student. School officials found him holding an insulin injection to the student's neck, and threatening to defecate down his throat.

It's rare for principals to stumble upon such behavior. But when they're not looking, kids are.

"They will tell," Jolley said. "It's been drilled in their heads, over and over and over."

But Bowles says bad subs can slip under the radar.

As a principal, he recalls shepherding roaming boys to class, where he was rudely greeted by a lounging sub. Bowles blacklisted the sub. But a week later, he says a girl told a school cop the sub arranged a drug deal with students. Police busted the alleged rendezvous.

Sub standards

State law requires criminal background checks to prevent problems.

We were fingerprinted and answered questions about our criminal histories.