"Please believe that you mean more to me than anything. You showed me what real and true unconditional love is. You make me complete. You are my baby. You are my Boo. I am going to be the mother you deserve. I will never again put anything or anyone before you. I will be a clean, sober and healthy mom to you. And for the rest of my life, I will be a living amends to you."

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Carver said there is only one way to ensure a child's safety.

"Keeping them away from drugs would be the treatment," she said.

Tanner Stone, whose son tested positive after sipping on her meth straw, never did go to the hospital to see him. She figured the phone call was good enough.

"In my mind, I thought I was OK," she said.

Police arrested her when she showed up at the courthouse for her son's custody hearing. "Even when I was in jail I didn't think I did anything wrong."

It wasn't until Stone wound up in dependency drug court that it begin to sink in.

"It broke my heart that I was so selfish," she said. "I didn't even realize I had a drug problem."

Stone, who has been sober for about 13 months, eventually regained custody of her son. He appears healthy, though he is in the lower percentile in terms of size and weight. She knows if she uses again, she could lose him. She's trying to care for him and herself.

"I'm not just physically there," she said. "I'm emotionally there."

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Generation Meth

Methamphetamine is the overwhelming drug of choice among Utah women, the majority of whom have children.

In a six-day series, the Deseret Morning News looks at how meth addiction burdens courts, prisons and social services and puts children in harm's way.

The series also chronicles the tragedies and triumphs of women whose lives are shattered by the insidious drug.

Sunday: Overview of the complex issues surrounding mothers addicted to meth.

Monday: Children victimized — and killed — in the mire of parents' meth addiction.

Tuesday: How meth abuse overloads courts, prisons and social services.

Wednesday: Meth lab busts are declining in Utah, but meth use is soaring.

Thursday: Up-close and personal look at women in detox centers and treatment.

Friday: What Utah should do to help families battling meth addiction.

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E-mail: romboy@desnews.com; lucy@desnews.com