The innocents: Kids fall victim to parents' addictions

—James Baldwin, author

Rebecca Peacock called her daughter's cell phone again and again early on a Sunday morning only to be directed to voice mail each time.

Her 23-month-old grandson had seemed fine when she picked him up to care for him the night before, but now something was wrong. The boy was restless and wouldn't sleep.

"He was going 100 miles a minute," she said last year. "He was very hyper, agitated and couldn't sit still. . . . His heart was just beating really fast."

Still trying to reach her daughter, Peacock took the boy to Primary Children's Medical Center. A test showed methamphetamine in his system.

Tanner Stone finally woke up about noon on the downside of a meth run. There were 15 to 20 messages on her cell phone, all from her mother. She called the hospital and found out her son had tested positive for meth.

Stone was incredulous. No way. How? "What did you do?" she demanded of her mother.

"I tried to blame her," Stone, now 20, said last month after a 3rd District Dependency Drug Court hearing.

"I am sorry for every tear you have shed. I'm sorry I'm a drug addict. I am sorry if I made you feel like drugs were more important than you. I am sorry I used drugs to cover and hide my pain from being away from you rather than staying sober and doing whatever I needed to do to get you back. I am sorry I let you down and wasn't always there when you needed me. I am sorry you have ever seen me high. I am sorry I ever yelled in your presence. I am sorry for the times I went to jail and you had to see me behind glass. I am sorry I missed your second Christmas. Most of all, I am sorry that I haven't been the mom that you truly deserve to have."

— A "victim letter," written by a woman in treatment for methamphetamine addiction

"I don't think the parents want to hurt their kids, but they become victims by their parents' actions," said Jeanlee Carver, Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center medical supervisor.

In the meth world, children are invisible. They are cloaked behind their parents' frantic needs for drugs. Social workers, police and child advocates know well the plight of children living in Utah's meth world. But most Utahns do not.