Debate (yawn) yields little

The presidential debates aren't really debates. They aren't even dialogues.

They are more like civil arguments — gentlemanly duels where no one gets shot.

And it's good the debates have finally come to an end.

Wednesday night's debate produced no flesh wounds, and certainly nothing fatal. The armor of the candidates was too impenetrable, their attacks too programmed. Moments of spontaneity were few. Like the visiting uncle who has a story he's determined to tell , and tells it no matter what he's asked, the candidates spent the evening delivering their well-honed phrases.

When President Bush blamed the lack of flu vaccine on England, instead of taking the opening to talk about the president dodging accountability, Sen. Kerry shifted to health care and rattled off a series of statistics.

When Sen. Kerry championed the right to choose abortion, the president didn't use the moment to his best advantage.

All the good lines were canned.

President Bush said of Kerry's health-care ideas, "A plan is not a litany of complaints."

Sen. Kerry said the president talking about jobs was like "Tony Soprano talking about law and order."

The only things missing were the rim shots.

In an attempt to appear engaged, the president at times looked like a late-night talk show host feigning interest in the remarks of a boring guest.

In an attempt to look thoughtful and alert, Kerry jotted down more notes than a junior college freshman.

When he spoke about principles, the president came alive. Kerry had heartfelt moments when talking about the disadvantaged. Answers about their faith and their families felt honest and genuine. In fact, a format that would allow more personal questions and fewer policy questions might be worth examining.

But for the most part, the debates have now begun to look and sound like the Lincoln Diorama at Disneyland. Push a button, start the show, listen to a message you've heard before. Nobody interested in listening, everybody interested in talking.

It's enough to make a person miss Socrates.

When Socrates debated, his goal was never to promote his own policies. In his dialogues, two souls shared their points of view and tried to work their way to the truth.

For Socrates, debates were larger than politics. They were about a quest for truth.

The politicians of the time sat Socrates down and forced him to drink hemlock.