Porn habit difficult to break

It began when he came across a curious-looking magazine in a field. That was the first time the 8-year-old boy remembered seeing a pornographic image. Twenty-two years and much heartache later, he still fights against the "demons" of pornography.

"It has always been a presence in my life, and I've always fought it," he said.

For Jim, who asked that his real name not be used for this story, the addiction is stronger than anything he has ever encountered.

"I was into hard drugs . . . heroin, cocaine. I was able to quit all those, but they don't even compare to pornography," he said.

On Saturday, Jim was among hundreds attending the fourth annual Conference for Protecting Children & Families from Pornography and Other Harmful Material, held at the Salt Palace Convention Center.

Rory C. Reid, a psychotherapist, said he created the conference after he saw a "great need in the community to get people educated" about pornography, but a lack of knowledge about how to address the issue. Attendance has steadily grown since the first year in 2001, and now it is the biggest conference in America about pornography, according to Reid.

Jim compares his situation to standing by a shoreline, where he is slammed by a succession of tidal-wave temptations. Each new wave gets bigger, and his capacity to withstand them gets smaller.

An entrepreneur who is married and has one son, Jim said he has gone to great lengths to satisfy his cravings. He once drove four hours to get to Evanston, Wyo., during the middle of the work day for a "fix." He tells a story of bouncing from one convenience store to another in search of a certain magazine, only to view it in the bathroom and then return it to the shelf.

"If I could harness the energy I spend fighting it and giving in to it, I could accomplish anything," he said.

And he has tried. Jim has been in and out of therapy over the years, spending more than $6,000 on techniques ranging from hypnosis to brain mapping. He has eliminated TV from his life and will only use the Internet at the public library. He discloses his slip-ups with his wife, who has stood by him since they were married four years ago.