Utahns must help curb domestic violence

Jay Evensen, my infinitely patient editor, peered over his glasses and cast a skeptical glance my way when I assured him, for the third time in a week, that I would complete an editorial on domestic violence by week's end.

"I know," I said, sheepishly. "That's what I said Tuesday and Wednesday. Today's the day, I promise."

But before I could deliver the editorial, Frank Lupinacci and Marydell Lupinacci got into an argument outside her apartment in Sandy on Thursday. He pulled a gun and shot her and then he turned the weapon on himself. She died at the scene. He died the next day at a hospital.

Add Marydell Lupinacci to Utah's disturbingly high homicide rate among women. It's 21 percent higher than the national average.

It's reckless to speculate why the Lupinaccis had recently separated or what they argued about the day Marydell was killed. All we know is that another Utah woman is dead at the hands of her estranged husband, who killed himself.

How is it that a couple who once committed to love and honor one another ends up the top story on the 6 o'clock news as a murder-suicide? Was there something someone could have done between Point A and Point B that could have averted this tragedy?

There's no simple answer to either question. But experts say a good first step is redefining the issue of domestic violence.

Ned Searle, the state's domestic violence coordinator, says domestic violence needs to be viewed as a "man's issue" because men are the primary perpetrators of domestic violence.

"To me, it boils down to the 'Boys will be Boys' syndrome," Searle said, "Domestic violence will be a problem until men accept the responsibility of changing that."

Somehow, society has to recognize that domestic violence is a criminal act. "It is violence, and people need to take the lead by getting victims help, by calling law enforcement," Searle said.

This is an equally vexing proposition. When we hear raised voices at the neighbor's house, we're reluctant to get involved in a dispute between a husband and a wife. Part of the reason is most of us have been conditioned since childhood to mind our own business. Some people may also fear that discord between the spouses might spill outside of the home, endangering them or one of their family members.