Ex-gay man says change possible

After years of struggling with his own sexual identity, Glenn Wyler says he's finally at peace. He's married, with two children, and says he's 100 percent heterosexual.

The transition was a difficult one for Wyler, of Virginia and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

He turned to God, praying, hoping his homosexual urges would end. He tried therapy and eventually did adopt what he calls the gay lifestyle, but his life still seemed chaotic.

"My hope was that God would change me without me having to do any of the work," he said. "My struggle was secretive for a long time. . . . I think the biggest realization I came to was reparative therapy."

Wyler said after his change, he started People Can Change, an online support group, which also holds weekend retreats around the country for men who want to lessen or eliminate their homosexual desire. Wyler is hosting such a retreat this weekend in eastern Utah's Duchesne County.

But many therapists say the science behind reparative therapy is flawed, success rates of change in sexual orientation are low, and the therapy can cause even more emotional harm to patients struggling with their sexual identity.

In May 2000, the American Psychiatric Association released a statement cautioning therapists against reparative therapy, saying in part: "The validity, efficacy and ethics of clinical attempts to change an individual's sexual orientation have been challenged. To date, there are no scientifically rigorous outcome studies to determine either the actual efficacy or harm of 'reparative' treatments."

Psychoanalyst Jack Drescher, chairman of the APA Commission on Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Concerns, said reparative therapy is not well studied and is often practiced by people who believe homosexuality is a mental illness. The APA ceased using the therapy in 1973.

Wyler said reparative therapy is based on the theory that homosexuality is caused by a lack of healthy same-sex bonding as a child.

"The same-sex attraction is a desire to sort of fill in the gap of what was missing earlier in life," he said. "Our philosophy is if the core needs are met in non-sexual ways, male bonding among other things, the desire for the sexual attraction diminishes."

Wyler said his attraction to men has gradually decreased. He said 60 percent of those who have gone through his weekend seminars since they started about two years ago have seen at least some increase in their opposite-sex attraction.

Psychiatrist Mary Barber of Kingston, N.Y., president of the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists, said in general, the data from reparative therapy suggest that "very few people change.