'Fantastic Four' may be farcically awful

First off, let me say that I'm opposed to movie bootlegging. And I fully support the efforts of studios and theaters to crack down on the illegal recording of films.

Which, I suppose, makes me something of a hypocrite for owning a VHS copy of the unreleased 1994 superhero movie "The Fantastic Four."

This Roger Corman-produced version of the long-running Marvel Comics title is one of the worst superhero movies made. In fact, it may be the very worst, which is why Marvel quashed it and prevented its theatrical release.

Bootleg copies are available at various conventions — and if somebody would officially release the film, I'd buy a legitimate one.

Anyway, I'm already getting the feeling that the Marvel-sanctioned version of "Fantastic Four," which is due in theaters next year, may be equally bad.

I've already got some reservations about director Tim Story (I wasn't the biggest fan of "BarberShop"). And the rumored tongue-in-cheek approach he's taking scares me even more.

So does the casting.

Actually, Michael Chiklis (cable television's "The Shield") is a fine choice to play Ben Grimm, the test pilot who turns into the orange and rocky Thing.

But Jessica Alba is all wrong for the part of Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman. After seeing her performance in "Honey," it's clear her sole talent consists of looking attractive.

The same goes for Chris Evans, as Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. Evans didn't exactly impress anyone in "The Perfect Score."

And while Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd, as Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic, has given some decent performances, he's a little too brawny to play a brainiac scientist character.

However, my instinct about superhero movie casting has been wrong before. I had quite a few reservations about the casting and costumes for first "X-Men" movie, but that one turned out fine.

• ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE.

For those who are looking for a documentary about Operation: Iraqi Freedom that's less agenda-driven then Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11," KTVX/Ch. 4 television-news reporter Andrew Stack has completed his own 55-minute film, "Gasmask Optional."

This engrossing documentary is culled from footage shot while Stack followed around members of Utah's 142nd Military Intelligence Battalion, serving in the Middle East as part of the coalition forces.

Stack is selling VHS and DVD copies (not rated, $19.95) on a Web site, www.gasmaskoptional.com. But be warned that there is some violent imagery, and one moment that is in slightly questionable taste.