Gary Watts of Provo and his wife co-chair Family Fellowship, a support group for LDS parents of gays and lesbians. The group's mailing list includes about 1,700 families. And it can be difficult for those with homosexual loved ones. One woman, who asked not to be identified, said she is "generally alarmed" by the church's position on the issue.

Watts said the church unfairly expects gays to live a life of loneliness, "one that isn't as meaningful as one that's enriched by a companion."

"There is no place in the Mormon Church for gay people, there is basically no place," said Watts, who has six children, two of whom are homosexual. "Our gay kids are terrific."

Watts and his wife are no longer active in the LDS Church, and he has daughters — some married in an LDS temple — who now aren't sure if they want to raise their children in the church because of its stand on homosexuality.

In 1998, LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley issued a statement that said, "We love (gays and lesbians) as sons and daughters of God. . . . We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation."

President Hinckley has also said gay marriage is a moral issue, not one of civil rights. In a 1999 talk at the church's general conference, he described the church's duty of "defending this sacred institution."

"God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years," he said. "There is no justification to redefine what marriage is. Such is not our right, and those who try will find themselves answerable to God."

But Watts described the church's position of separating its opposition to gay marriage from civil rights as "double speak."

"It's about my gay kids' civil rights," he said. "It just makes my blood boil."

Learned or genetic

Church therapists do, in general, have sympathy for homosexuals, but they also contend that sexual orientation is learned and can be changed.

David Pruden, executive director of Evergreen International, a resource, education and referral program for those who have unwanted feelings of same-sex attraction, believes that no one is born gay.

Pruden said Evergreen's anonymous help line receives about 300 calls a month, and many of those calls come from married men. Most of Evergreen's clientele are LDS Church members.