Think positively — Tips for disciplining your kids

When it comes to the art of discipline, having a few strategies at your fingertips helps. Keep these in mind the next time you need to guide your little charges.

'See it' techniques

— Graphing. There's nothing like a visual to drive the point home. When you put stars on a chart for deeds well done, that is what graphing is all about. Try these alternative methods: Make a chart with one stripe each of green, yellow and red. If behavior is a go, clip a clothespin to the green. Outrageous misbehavior moves it to red and in-between behavior to yellow. Another: have your child carry a string and make a knot in it every time they behave the way you'd like them to when you are "knot" around.

— Signal. With your child, prearrange a secret signal: wink, cough or scratch your head when it's time to clean up, go to bed or get off the phone. A silent signal between you is worth a thousand angry words.

— Look. You can also develop a look that says, "This behavior needs to change. Right now."

'Say it' techniques

— Accentuate the positive, ignore the negative. It's the old story: your children want your attention, and if the only way they get it is when they do something "bad," you are teaching them to do more bad things. Much like tending a garden, if you feed and water good behavior, it will blossom and grow.

— Promise privileges. Let your child know that not only can you remove privileges, but you can also reward behavior that merits it. If your 4-year-old has proven himself capable of not poking anyone with the umbrella, then yes, he may carry it.

— Consequences. Before repeated misbehavior shows up again, tell your child what the consequences will be. Don't make it a threat; state it as a fact. Children who know what consequences lie ahead will respond accordingly. This also helps your child with critical thinking: They can make intelligent behavior decisions based on the outcome.

— Criticize the action, not the child. Say, "I am disappointed that your homework wasn't done on time" versus "You never do anything you are supposed to do."

— Ask. If homework isn't done on time, ask probing questions to see if you can work together toward a solution. Does she have a space to do homework? Is there time in her overcrowded schedule to complete it? Do you impress upon her the importance of doing homework?

'Do it' techniques