In an Internet chat room, cutter answered the questions posted by the Deseret Morning News:

• "I started because I was very much into the idea that I scar my skin. I could hurt myself, and cause a scar, and it was very much something I could control. I didn't learn it from someone else or another source really, though I'd heard of it once before."

• "I'd say for me it's more about control. You can't control the pain others give you but you can control the pain you inflict on yourself."

• "In my case, I started because I was punishing myelf for being unhappy, and I thought I deserved the bad things that were happening in my life. I was punishing the person I hated most and blamed for all my problems. It seemed perfectly natural."

• "For me, it puts emotional pain that can't be dealt with into something physical that can be. It also serves as a form of self-punishment for things I should have known better than to have done or not done. No, it doesn't make me feel alive. On the contrary. I cut to stop feeling."

• "I can't stop. I don't even want to stop. Imagine that everything that has ever bothered or hurt you can disappear in a moment of time. Why should you ever give that up?"

• "This is insanely difficult ground to tread on. I can't imagine that everyone like me wants to do this. We lose so much because of it — friends, family, short sleeves. I would love to believe that we all want to stop. But how can I say that when I'm cutting left and right?"

• "For me it came from inside. One night I was drunk, and upset, broke a bottle and just felt like I should hurt myself. Strange, I know."

• "I think everyone wants to stop at some time, but there are a lot of conflicting emotions involved in self-injury. Sometime I'll want to. I'll be disgusted by what I've done and want to just never pick up a knife again. Most of the time, though, I need it and can't imagine what I'd do without it. I get scared at the thought of cutting. I can want to quit and not want to at the same time, and it gets really frustrating."