"Obert's work became his life. My sense of it is that Grace didn't attach as much. There was a change. How could it not change you? The parents were never the same, and their relationships were never the same. I feel like Obert put himself into his work and left Grace at home to manage. I think Grace suffered more than anyone with the loss of her three sons."

Searching for meaning

The common family theme seems to have been a search for religion and meaning, a quest that Obert no doubt fostered. He was LDS but struggled throughout his life to reconcile his intellectualism with LDS doctrine, or the doctrine of any particular church for that matter. He taught philosophy at the University of Utah and invited students to question their beliefs.

Obert had a broad range of religious experience himself, serving an LDS Church mission, teaching religious philosophy, serving as chaplain at Stanford and becoming well-acquainted with church leaders such as Presidents David O. McKay and Gordon B. Hinckley, whose family attended the same ward as the Tanners. President McKay personally asked him to write a book on Christ's teachings for college-age students.

"Questions are good for a philosopher, but in the LDS tradition questions are not very welcome," Bishop Irish says. "In a general way, they have the answers, and people are expected to be satisfied with answers that are given."

It was never so in the Tanner household. At the dinner table on Sunday afternoon, Obert would start a debate about religious issues. "What did they tell you in church today?" he would begin. "Do you believe that?" he would reply to their answers. As Carolyn recalls, "He'd pick at it in some way so we'd think about it. He wanted to take it to another level."

David, who lives in California, eventually gravitated to Buddhism and the Dalai Lama. He is an activist for Tibetan causes and provides financial support for several Tibetans in their education. Joan, an artist who lives in New Mexico, "is still the seeker of the family," her sister says.

"Joanie is a free spirit," says Norma Matheson, whose husband Scott was governor of Utah and Bishop Irish's cousin. "I always liked her. She's a creative person. I own some of her artwork."

According to Jorgensen, Joan has dabbled in some of the practices of the Eastern religions but hasn't embraced a church. "All of Obert's children are uniquely spiritual," Jorgensen says.

None of the Tanner children has to worry about money, thanks to their father's inheritance, which has given them a certain freedom to search. (Obert's biography is titled "One Man's Journey: In Search of Freedom.")