Web links like-minded Muslims

Part of her hoped she'd find her soul mate when she joined Naseeb, a new online Muslim community. But getting a marriage proposal just three months later — while on a snowboarding trip in Pennsylvania — was way beyond Saara Sheikh's expectations.

Raised by conservative, Pakistani Muslim parents, Sheikh knew dating was out. Still, she rebelled at the idea of a traditional arranged marriage, skipping out on meetings her parents set up with potential spouses.

"They've been trying to hook me up since I was, like, 20," said Sheikh, a 25-year-old Franklin Lakes, N.J., mental-health professional. "I told my mom I would want to find somebody on my own. The arranged thing would be very hard for me."

Naseeb seemed like a good compromise. Sometimes called the Muslim version of Friendster, the site allows people to network with friends of friends.

Like the company, which is based in San Jose, Calif., but has engineering operations in Lahore, Pakistan, many of Naseeb's users are a blend of East and West, comfortable with technology yet tied to tradition. In Naseeb, they've found a culturally sensitive middle ground that lies somewhere between dating, which experts say is discouraged by Islamic law, and the old-fashioned practice of marriages brokered by parents.

In the Muslim community, arranged marriages vary by ethnicity — they are more common among South Asians and some Arabs than American blacks. Such practices, brought from immigrants' home countries, typically involve parents helping to choose a mate for their children, said Aminah McCloud, professor of Islamic studies at DePaul University.

Naseeb is one example of how that tradition has evolved in the United States, said Ahmar Masood, Sheikh's fiance.

"It may actually allow for more people to connect on their own, versus only arranged marriage," said Masood, a 26-year-old Reston, Va. information technology consultant. "It definitely gives a little more control to the younger generation in how to meet people."

Others, like Geillan Aly, a 27-year-old New York City graduate student, are attracted to the high-tech format.

"I'm comfortable online," said Aly, who turned to Naseeb as an alternative to the prospective spouses her mother invites to tea. "I can see who I'm talking to without having to sit there and waste two hours of getting-to-know-you chitchat."

More than 45,000 Muslims have joined Naseeb.com since it went online last fall, some searching for a spouse, others looking to make friends. Silicon Valley entrepreneur Monis Rahman said he founded Naseeb, which means "destiny" in Arabic, Urdu, Persian, Malaysian, Indonesian, Turkish and Hindi, in response to a desire for community that arose after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.