Too few laughs in 'Traveler'

Secrets every smart traveler should know, Egyptian Theatre Company, Park City, through March 20 (435-649-9371 or 1-888-243-5779). Running time: 90 minutes (one intermission).

PARK CITY — The voices are pretty and the choreography is perky and the pianist is skilled. The only real problem with this play is that the script is bland.

"Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know" is a musical revue, with songs and sketches written by a dozen different people. The premise comes from a Fodor's travel book, which offers advice on what to bring through customs, how to avoid hidden costs for rental cars, and the like.

In the current production at the Egyptian Theatre Company, Kim Blackett, Gary Neilson, Camille VanWagoner and Annette Wright act and sing the travel tips. VanWagoner's voice is especially rich and Blackett's is especially smooth, but they are all fine singers. Wright is at her best when she's vamping — being hit on by her guide, or shimmying around with a bunch of fruit on her head. Neilson is amusing as the guy who tries to make it through an airline's automated phone system.

There are not enough laughs in this revue, but there are some. In the number about Montezuma's revenge, Blackett's two-step and rising falsetto are extremely funny. And there are the occasional great lines, such as the one in the skit about the Salzburg music festival: "You'll hear every bloody note the man ever wrote."

Jayne Luke directed and choreographed this production, and Steve Barlow is the musical director.

The final songs encourage you to travel while there is still something good to see — before the Leaning Tower falls, before McDonald's takes over the world. In spite of these last-minute urgings, you will come away from this play with a vivid memory of how awful travel can be. You'll come away vowing never to go on a cruise. (The sketches in "Secrets" make cruising look like a pitiful pastime.) You may even come away vowing never to fly again.

Then, as you walk to your car, you will remember that it took you 25 minutes to find this parking spot. You will realize that you don't even have to get on a plane to experience the frustrations of travel. You can just drive to Park City to see a play.

Sensitivity rating: Some double entrendes and allusions to having sex with a tour guide .

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