The issue came down to a matter of legality for one woman, who said marrying someone of the same sex "is more than just (a personal) opinion. The law is the law."

In facilitating the discussion, Smith said she doesn't understand the mind-set of those who "believe in civil rights but not in civil unions. If I don't believe in the same rights for everybody then I don't believe in civil rights."

"So you're saying it's discrimination if I believe my God is the highest value for me" in disapproving same-sex marriage? asked one.

"And in that case, would it be discrimination to say my 10-year-old daughter can't marry her 8-year-old brother, even if they really love each other and want to marry?" asked another. The questions hung in the air, without answers, like so much of the day's dialogue.

Smith pointed out that many in Utah tend to cast the debate over same-sex marriage as one that pits the LDS Church against all others, "but that's simply not the case" because most major faiths also oppose it.

As the discussion winds toward a close, some believe the issue of power — political, economic, cultural and social — is at the core of Utah's "great divide." Discussing that power without the hard-wired political correctness most Utah adults have carefully crafted for themselves may be the biggest challenge of all.

"There wouldn't be a divide if it wasn't for power, and my initial reaction to that is anger if I feel like (those in the majority) start pushing me around. There is a place and a time to sit down and talk about it and not be nice," said one man, who knows that "confrontation and activism doesn't always help but sometimes it does, so it's confusing" to know how to approach Utah's power structure when you disagree with the majority.

"Whether our truth statements about God are the same or different, we can still choose to listen to each other," says another man, who admits frustration over how you "respectfully agree to disagree" on pivotal moral issues mixed with faith "because it would be me rejecting my God . . . So what you are asking me to do at the outset is not OK. If I believe I have absolute truth and you are asking me to disclaim it, that's not respectful."

One woman, who tells the group she's in a 29-year relationship with another woman, says at times she wants to say "get your laws off my body. Your laws are not fair."

"I want to say some kinds of belief systems are wrong. But I know people who sit on the other side of it believe that, too."