McGwire will add zest to Cards, but it's too late

Mark McGwire will be fun. He will provide entertainment. He will be a menacing presence, a source of danger.

McGwire will do a lot of things for the Cardinals. He will fill out a uniform with his broad shoulders. He will make their unimposing lineup look bigger, stronger, meaner. He will give Ron Gant some serious competition for the clubhouse arm-wrestling championship.McGwire will make batting practice more exciting. Fans will want to arrive early just to see if McGwire can slam BP fastballs off the Gateway Arch. He will swat a few homers, set off some fireworks, sell more tickets, raise the blood pressure of opposing pitchers and give the Cardinals a legitimate set of bulging forearms.

If you are a frustrated fan of the weak, pressure-consumed, RBI-needy, power-impaired Cardinals, then the final two months of the season just became more lively and interesting. The Cardinals have rented an enforcer. They have called Oakland and hired some muscle. They own one-half of the notorious Bash Brothers.

There is probably only one thing that Mark McGwire can't do: conquer the first-place Houston Astros.

Unless the Astros are so timid that they'll run away in terror - shivering and cowering in a corner just by seeing McGwire on ESPN "Sportscenter," swinging a mighty bat for the Cardinals - the NL Central race is over. Unless McGwire can, say, pick up the Houston team bus, hold it over his head and shake the thing until the Astros players cry, "Uncle!" this will be a pleasant ride but unfulfilled fantasy.

"If I have a chance to help somebody get to the playoffs and the World Series," McGwire said in Oakland, "I'd like that opportunity. And Oakland is rebuilding."

McGwire doesn't know it yet, but he just departed one also-ran to join another. In a sad but appropriate conclusion to the big day, the Cardinals (51-56) stumbled to another loss in Philadelphia.

After dropping two of three in Houston earlier this week - and wallowing with a 1-3 record on an 11-game trip - the Cardinals trail the Astros by 7.5 fat games. Welcome to St. Louis, Mark. Closer to Oakland than you think.

"Mark McGwire will make a huge difference in the middle of our lineup," Cardinals general manager Walt Jocketty said.

Wrong.

McGwire will be huge, yes.

A huge difference? No.