Answers to those Southern Miss questions

MEMPHIS — Now that it's Liberty Bowl game day, I suppose you're finally starting to wonder who in the name of Brett Favre is Southern Mississippi. (People in Hattiesburg surely must be wondering the same about Utah.)

If you must know, Southern Miss is the winner of Conference USA. It has been to six bowl games in seven years, counting today's. It is the feisty underdog in a state that includes Mississippi and Mississippi State. As you may have already surmised, it is also the alma mater of Favre, the famous Green Bay quarterback.

Because today is your last chance to clear up any misconceptions regarding the entire Liberty Bowl/Memphis experience, I am now opening the floor to questions. Feel free to speak up.

Yes. You in the plaid pants . . .

Question: Is it true that Bear Bryant coached in the first-ever Liberty Bowl?

Answer: Yes. But so did a Penn State coach named Rip Engle, who apparently was the Wally Pipp of college coaches. How was he to know Joe Paterno would soon take over and coach until he was older than Gandalf?

Question: Since you're an expert on Memphis, please set the record straight: Did Elvis really die of a drug overdose in his bathroom in 1977?

Answer: Absolutely not. He died in 1979 in his den, of boredom, on the same day Penn State defeated Tulane 9-6 in a Liberty Bowl that featured zero touchdowns.

Question: Is Graceland the beautiful Southern mansion it appears to be?

Answer: Nope. It's stuck permanently in the '70s, kind of like Ron McBride's offense.

Question: But didn't Priscilla Presley restore Graceland to its former condition?

Answer: Yes, indeedy. Too bad she couldn't have done the same for Elvis.

Question: Is Memphis really as bad a place for a bowl game as they say?

Answer: Not if you've been to Shreveport.

Question: History says Elvis showed up there long ago, hoping to make sweet music and earn respect. True?

Answer: I'm not positive. All I know is that's what the Utes are hoping to do.

Question: Did the Mormon Tabernacle Choir ever play Beale Street in Memphis?

Answer: No. But it did sing the blues after BYU's football season.