Politicians shoot from lip with quips, retorts

WASHINGTON — This is the time of year when we review some of the wacky, weird and wonderfully goofy things our politicians have said over the past 12 months.

Not all politicians beat about the bush. When former Maryland Gov. William Schaefer, a Democrat, was asked about successor Parris Glendening, also a Democrat, he sniffed, "I will not have any disparaging remarks about him except I hate him." Glendening said Schaefer "isn't prejudiced — he hates everybody equally."

Barbara Bush, the mother of the president and the Florida governor and the wife of a former president, reflected on her role: "I am advising the former president, the governor of Florida and the president of the United States. I guess you could say I rule the world."

This was the year the Department of Homeland Security got rolling and advised us to be wary and buy plastic sheeting (in case of biological attack) and stock up on batteries. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked if he had complied, replied, "I would like to say I did. I don't believe we do. But I do have a miniature dachshund named Reggie, who looks out for us."

Take that, Osama.

Former President Bill Clinton this year suggested that the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution be changed to permit presidents to serve three terms. Not totally out of altruism, he explained, "There may come a time when we have elected a president at age 45 or 50 and then 20 years later the country comes up with the same sort of problems the president faced before, and the people would like to bring that man or woman back."

Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., a presidential candidate, responded, "I promise just to serve two terms. Republicans do it differently. They just have the son repeat the father's whole first term."

That's probably not what Clinton meant when he told fellow Democrats: "We need to give them something they won't get from the other guys."

Richard Perle, former assistant secretary of defense, gave his thoughts about the current president to a magazine writer. "The first time I met Bush 43 (George W. is the 43rd president, his father was No. 41), I knew he was different. Two things became clear. One, he didn't know very much. The other was he had the confidence to ask questions that revealed he didn't know very much. Most people are reluctant to say when they don't know something — a word or a term they haven't heard before. Not him."

And Perle is still on the White House Christmas-card list.

Politicians naturally assume they're the center of the universe. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who is divorced, said he'd really, really like to get together with movie star/celebrity/singer Jennifer Lopez. "I assume Jennifer Lopez would want to have dinner with me," the mayor said.