Caregivers of elderly don't need to go it alone

When Lucille Tinker died last summer, she weighed 59 pounds. That's a normal weight for a 9- or 10-year-old child. But Lucille was a grown woman. A 59-pound grandmother.

When I heard reports about Tinker, it sounded like something I might have heard when I visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., a couple of years ago. But this woman wasn't in a Nazi death camp. She was being cared for by family members in a Salt Lake County home.

Tinker's granddaughter, her primary caregiver for the past 2 1/2 years, has been charged with aggravated abuse of an elder adult.

Investigators allege that the granddaughter, Susan Christin Alexander, shut Tinker in her room and did not return for four days. Tinker lacked the strength to sit, stand or feed herself, investigators said.

A note was attached to the elderly woman's bedroom door stating Tinker had been fed and bathed so other family members would stay out of her room, police said.

Family members interviewed on television described the granddaughter as selfless. One went as far to suggest that she should be given a medal for caring for the very sick and frail woman as long and as well as she did.

The only people who know for a certainty what happened in that house were those who lived there. I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of an adult weighing just 59 pounds, but I've seen for myself how age, disease, poor nutrition and inactivity can devastate the human body. This situation is probably a lot more complicated than any of us realizes.

The last thing I want to do is try this case in the newspaper. My concern is for other families trying to care at home for a loved one who is very ill and frail.

Do they have adequate support? Do they know where to go for help? Do they understand the importance of attending to their own physical and emotional needs? Do they have a realistic idea when the medical and physical needs of their loved one require hospitalization or skilled nursing care?

Some people try to take care of sick family members on their own because they don't believe that they will receive sufficient care in a nursing home. I've been to a number of nursing homes and, no question, some were far better than others. It's not realistic that a caregiver would have the same emotional investment in a patient as a family member, but a family member may lack the training and experience to render the level of care that some people require.