Leavitt's all yours — for better or worse

Dear Washington insiders,

The care package from Utah should arrive sometime Wednesday afternoon. On the outside, you get an ex-Utah governor who says he talks to cows. On the inside, you get a genuinely nice guy.

Michael O. Leavitt — or Mike, as he likes to be called — is all yours.

But in the spirit of full disclosure, there are some other things you might want to know about your new administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency.

Be prepared for a lot of folksy stories loaded with country wisdom. And then be prepared to hear them over and over again.

Plus, Leavitt can be downright corny, whether it's wearing a Cat-in-the-Hat hat to promote reading or wearing some embarrassingly baggy shorts during a pick-up basketball game or showing off his equestrian skills in the Olympic rodeo.

Nobody here seems to mind. His approval rating with Utahns ranged between 70 percent and 85 percent, even in the worst of times.

Keep in mind the ex-governor has keen eyesight when it comes to things in the distance but can't see things close up.

(He has to use reading glasses and, yes, those are the same frames Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld wears. Leavitt was quite taken with them during a Homeland Security meeting and ordered up a pair for himself.)

His eyesight may be a metaphor, of sorts, for his penchant of seeing the grand vision of things and then creating task forces to study it.

Heard of Enlibra? You will. Leavitt uses the word to describe his big-picture approach to resolving environmental conflict. It's Latin, he says, meaning to "move toward balance."

A word of advice: Please don't yell at his press conferences. The ex-governor suffers from debilitating migraines. And if his eyes turn bloodshot-red, that means he is really, really angry.

If you can get him a membership at the country club, he does like to play golf. But it's really more like polo in a golf cart with the foursome expected to complete 18 holes in less than two hours. There's no lining up putts and there's no waiting around for slackers.

But there probably won't be a lot of free weekends, anyway. He will be commuting between Washington and Salt Lake City, where wife Jacalyn and son Westin, 13, will remain. (The four oldest children have flown the coop.)

We hear all stories about the Bush administration's hijinks these days, and we want you to know that Leavitt should fit in rather nicely.

Leavitt has his own Enron baggage — a $10,000 campaign contribution he refused to give back after Enron collapsed. He is not above nepotism, appointing brothers and his father to various boards.

A word of warning to Democrats thinking of working for Leavitt. He doesn't hire that many of you, and those he does tend to come out of the wash as Republicans.

He also started his own university, his own political research institute and almost pulled off creating his own Western states presidential primary.

For the record, the "O" in Michael O. Leavitt stands for Okerlund. It was his mom's maiden name, something all his brothers have in common.

We invite you to enjoy the package. We did.

Love, Utah.

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E-MAIL: spang@desnews.com