Kelley can't stomach reality

HOLLYWOOD — That David E. Kelley hates reality TV shows in general and "Joe Millionaire" in particular is certainly no surprise. After all, the creator/writer/executive producer of "The Practice" watched his show get pummeled by "Joe Millionaire" in the ratings on Monday nights last season.

That his wife, actress Michelle Pfeiffer, is among those who got caught up in "Joe Millionaire" is, well, unfortunate. At least for Kelley.

The man behind "The Practice," "Boston Public" and the upcoming "Brotherhood of Poland, N.H." turned on the TV a few months back to check out the competition and wasn't exactly thrilled with what he saw. After he had watched it for about 10 minutes, Kelley said his wife put down her book and asked him derisively, "What are you watching?" But a few minutes later, "I picked up the remote to change the channel and she said, 'Wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to see if that b---- comes back!' Twenty-five minutes into it, I said, 'This show is a monster hit.' "

Kelley put his frustrations into an episode of "The Practice," which ABC is repeating on Sunday (9 p.m., Ch. 4). It features Andie MacDowell as a reality-show obsessed woman who takes CBS president Leslie Moonves hostage and threatens to kill him — as part of her own reality show.

His message was about TV's "dirty little secret" — that present-day network programmers will do just about anything to get ratings. Specifically that just about anything goes on reality TV. Kelley painted it as "an erosion of respect for the medium by its guardians." (Not that that's much of a secret. All you had to do was turn on your TV the past couple of seasons and the secret was out.)

Kelley insisted he isn't naive. "No one's denying TV is a business," he said. "But the people in charge of this business — and, by that, I probably mean the studios and the networks — at one time championed the idea that we are in this business . . . because we get to make TV shows, we get to make this fantasy world that we're proud of and bring it to the American public.

"But today, they celebrate the junk."

And they trumpet victories they should be ashamed of, Kelley maintained.

"As long as they get high ratings, they will do it. And where they were ashamed of it, now they'll throw a parade for themselves."

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