Packing the house

The University of Utah recently announced seating for men's basketball labeled "Section F" will be sold exclusively as an "area for the loudest and most active Ute fans."

I guess that's opposed to the rest of the crowd, which arrives late, dozes through the first half and leaves early.

The idea is to create a Ute version of Duke's "Cameron Crazies."

Ticket holders will be issued a special identifying T-shirt, which is transferable. That way, a news release said, it will "help keep the section packed when they are not available to attend."

Nice idea, but here's a better one: Why not just recruit another Andrew Bogut, which would keep Section F — and all others — packed and crazy, anyway?

Heavenly adoration

"With the Oquirrh Mountain (LDS) Temple open house in full swing something dawned on me," writes Rock On reader Phil Gee. "Do you think that Karl Malone is mad that the LDS Church named a temple after Mehmet Okur rather than the Mailman?"

(Get it? Oquirrh, Okur?)

Continued Gee: "It's not far fetched, if you consider that on his first trip to Utah after he was drafted, he thought the Days of '47 Parade was to celebrate his birthday."

Sport of sorts

A Shelbyville (Tenn.) couple was arrested last month on domestic assault charges.

The crime: throwing Cheetos at one another.

Police reports say James Earl Taylor and Mary S. Childers were arguing and continued until "at which time Cheetos potato chips were used in the assault."

You must be asking yourself, why is this a sports story, anyway?

First, it could be the beginnings of the next great TV trash sport: Cheetoball. You know, like dodgeball, except with crunchy, orange cheese puffs.

Second, next time Lawrence Phillips gets arrested for smacking around his lady, plan on him claiming he was only throwing snacks.

Undrafted picks

Steve Lavin, the former UCLA coach, recently released his All-Undrafted Team, and it included three local players.

Utah's Luke Nevill was on the second team, while BYU's Lee Cummard was a third-team selection and USU's Gary Wilkinson got honorable mention.

Not to be negative, but isn't that like being named to KFC's side dish menu?

Danger zone

Former Major League Soccer commissioner Doug Logan recently told the Oregonian what the ideal crowd should entail.

"Soccer audiences at their best have got to be a little dangerous," he said. "It's three guys with a beer cursing at the guy on the field. It's not a family activity. If you want a family activity, go to the circus."

Or you could go to a Real Salt Lake game, where the most dangerous thing you'll encounter is an irritable soccer mom with a van full of UYSA kids.

e-mail: rock@desnews.com