Dear Abby: "Dismayed" said that his 24-year-old daughter was "out on her own, leading a productive life." Why should he feel that her hand was his to give?

When I became engaged after living independently for a number of years, I made it clear to my fiance that I would be insulted if he asked my father for permission to marry me. Saying that it's a sign of respect to Dad is missing the point that treating a woman as a free and independent person is a sign of respect to HER. — Diane in Oakdale, Calif.

Dear Abby: Men should ask the fathers of their brides- to-be for permission! It gives the dads the opportunity to really talk to the men about their intentions and goals. I am 23 and many of my friends are getting married. Each of their fiances has asked their father. And I would not accept a ring unless my beloved had asked mine. — Meaghan in New York

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate