Pointy toilet paper — what could be ritzier?
Here' something I noticed while staying in a motel for a week last month. …
Every time the maids did up my room they folded the end of the toilet paper into a neat little point.
This happened day after day. I'd drag myself back to the motel room after another intense conference workshop and discover (ta da!) that my toilet paper was all done up again — just like a present on Christmas morning.
I tried to imagine how this folding business went down: After scrubbing and swishing and bedmaking and vacuuming, did my maids turn to each other and say, "NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE WE REALLY BRING IT"?
And then did they fold my toilet paper, do a victory dance, give each other high fives, pat each other on the rears, and trot out of the room chanting, "We're No. 1! We're No. 1!"
Anyway. Whatever. Here's my question: How am I supposed to feel about all this extra effort expended on my behalf?
Is pointy toilet paper supposed to make me feel like I'm staying at the Ritz?
Not that I've ever personally stayed at the Ritz. Our family always stayed in Motel 6 when I was growing up and that was GREAT because what could be better than flopping down on a Magic Fingers (kids, ask your parents) bed after a long, long day of fighting with your brothers in the backseat of a station wagon? That didn't have air conditioning?
As you drove on I-80 across the Nevada desert to San Francisco where your dad's friend who turned into a dentist did your teeth for free on weekends?
(Incidentally, John Houghtailing, the inventor of Magic Fingers, died last month in Florida from complications of a fall at the age of 92. WHO KNEW?)
But still. I've seen movies about the Ritz. Male guests wear top hats and tails. Women wear beaded gowns and gardenias in their hair. Together they drink champagne and dance all night and laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha at witty jokes and completely REFUSE to use toilet paper unless it's been folded into a perfect point because — hello — they're just way too good to use a blunt edge like the rest of us.
Maybe that's why the maids bothered. It was their little way of saying to guests (like me) that yeah, we know you're staying here in our humble motel where the only ice buckets available are the ones you fill for yourself.
But still!
WE personally think you're good enough to stay at the Ritz!
Viewed this way, FOLDED TOILET PAPER = CRAZY ENHANCED GUEST SELF-ESTEEM.
And, seriously, how great is that?
Life is full of experiences large and small that can leave you feeling like you don't matter much, so I'm all for anything that helps you lift your chin a little higher, that gives you the kind of quiet confidence that comes from knowing you are someone who could totally stay at the Ritz.
So thank you, Housekeeping Staff!
You guys rocked!
e-mail: acannon@desnews.com
Recent comments
I comedian I recently heard does the same thing as Rae, but to mess...
MarkS | July 9, 2009 at 9:13 p.m.
I LAUGH! Loved your column. I use to clean houses and I always left...
Shirley | July 6, 2009 at 10:40 p.m.
The Housekeeping staff does this in hopes of obtaining tips from...
Anonymous | July 6, 2009 at 8:46 p.m.
- Editorial: Mormons and gay rights 11:20 a.m.
- 5A: Hawks, Miners by the numbers 11:03 a.m.
- 5A: Hawks, Miners ready 11:00 a.m.
- 5A: Davis, Hunter by the numbers 10:53 a.m.
- 5A: Davis, Hunter - old fashioned 10:47 a.m.
- Sloan may toy with starting lineup 10:02 a.m.
- Iran began nuke plant 7 years ago 9:32 a.m.
- Downpours swamp Mid-Atlantic 9:31 a.m.
- John King replacing Dobbs show 9:30 a.m.
- Obama announces jobs forum 9:29 a.m.
- Alta's Ohai is Ms. Soccer 2009
- SLC council OKs gay rights policies
- Crash kills Utah County man
- Prep football: Felt's Facts Week
- Will state consider gay rights law?
- BYU football recruit turning heads
- Tavernari has matured
- Cougars practice with urgency
- Celtics crush Jazz
- 'Love story' of crash victim ends
- House passes health care bill
290 - SLC council OKs gay rights policies
261 - TCU showdown has big implications
195 - Senators want food tax restored
157 - Cougars crush hapless Cowboys
155 - Utah Jazz fall apart against Kings
131 - TCU 4th in AP poll; U. 16th, Y. 22nd
119 - S.L. vote pending on gay protections
110 - Letters: Strange breed in Utah
109 - Pratt pleads not guilty to sex charges
101
One of my guilty pleasures is perusing the covers of celebrity magazines...
This week, I'm compiling my annual list of restaurants serving...
yeah, utah has a lot to prove but so does BYU. BYU did good in '06 and '07...
PG: D-Will SG: Wes Matthews SF: Kirilenko (sad that he's the best option...
I agree that Reagan and the Bushes spent too much. They promoted too much big...
This saddens me & breaks my heart! I have NEVER seen anything in the Bible to...
Don't get me wrong... I like Taylor; you could even call me a fan. I just...
I really think Utah can upset TCU. Utah has a great defense and that alone...
Doctrine & Covenants 134:9 "We do not believe it just to amingle religious...
It is interesting to me that we will give our terrorists the right to sue the...
If all I want is a good-paying job as quickly as possible an Applied...
- How dare you include utah in the list of superior teams that have blown BYU...


