Austen wants to start dating again. Would I be doing him a favor by saying something about his self-centeredness? Or would I be hurting his feelings? I miss the way my brother used to be. — Silent Sister in Arizona

Dear Silent Sister: When did this personality change in your brother occur? Was it sudden, or has it been coming on for a long time? He may be depressed over the failure of his marriage and his latest romance. Or there may be an underlying physical cause.

As a loving sister, suggest that your brother have a checkup with his doctor if it has been some time since he's had one. If he wants to know why, it would not be out of line to tell him that when you visited him it seemed that his horizons are no longer as broad as they used to be, and you are worried that he may be depressed. But do not tell him you think he has turned into a self-centered bore because it would be both unkind and unhelpful.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate