"It is less icky, if we're talking about perversion, a fetish or sexually deviant behavior — falling in love with someone else doesn't seem like that," says Saltz, who's counseled many couples through infidelity. "But that doesn't make it less painful for the spouse, or more OK."

Saltz has no doubt that if Sanford had genuine feelings, they could have led him to make reckless decisions. "Once you get the dopamine going, people do crazy, irrational, dangerous things for love," she says.

Sanford told The Associated Press on Sunday that he and his wife are working on repairing the marriage. "If there wasn't healing going on, I wouldn't be here," he said outside his beach house, where he had dinner with his family Saturday night.

One observer, at least, thinks Sanford may not be completely committed to his quest for forgiveness.

Janine Driver, a Washington-based body language specialist and former ATF employee, noticed that Sanford in his apology referred to his wife raising "those boys," as opposed to "our boys," which he used in earlier speeches.

"We'll oftentime create distancing language, like 'those' and 'that' when we are not accepting the blame," says Driver. "We're creating that little bubble of distance, that safety."

Driver also felt it was telling how Sanford worded his mea culpa. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry," he repeatedly asked for forgiveness.

"'Forgiveness' is a softer word than, 'I'm sorry,'" she said. "Since forgiveness is something YOU have to give to ME. It's all about him."