If you're a governor who's in the doghouse for marital infidelity, is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all?

Granted, South Carolina's Gov. Mark Sanford may be too busy to wonder, given that he's trying to simultaneously save his job, his political future and, apparently, his marriage.

But to some, one of the most fascinating aspects of our nation's latest ritual public apology from a straying politician is that Sanford, unlike many straying politicians before him, seems to really be in love with the object of the straying.

"Yup, he's got it bad," offers Stephanie Coontz, a professor of family studies at Evergreen State College in Washington state. "There's enough out there to make you realize he just has a head-over-heels crush on this woman."

Has, or had — whether or not the relationship is a thing of the past, it certainly sets this scandal apart from a number of past political infidelity dramas. And it could make a difference in how much sympathy Sanford gets — or doesn't.

There were the politicians who strayed in prostitution scandals (New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, Louisiana Sen. David Vitter) and others who strayed with a campaign worker or an intern (former presidential candidate John Edwards, former President Bill Clinton).

It's safe to say none of these spoke of the other party in the respectful and emotional terms that Sanford did in his rambling apology. He called the woman a "dear, dear friend" over whom he had "spent the last five days crying in Argentina" — five days during which the people of South Carolina, and even his staff, had no idea where he was.

And then there were the adoring e-mails published by The State newspaper, the veracity of which the governor's office did not dispute. "Have you been told lately how warm your eyes are and how they glow with the special nature of your soul," read one. Another: "You have a level of sophistication that is so fitting with your beauty."

The woman, Maria Belen Chapur, acknowledged the relationship with Sanford in a statement to an Argentine news network Sunday. She said she would not talk further about her private life.

While there was no shortage of scorn in Sanford's home state, some readers were moved by the e-mails, and at least one suggested the governor should resign, divorce his wife and follow his heart to Argentina.

Could the "love factor" ultimately play a role in helping get this governor the forgiveness he seeks?

To family therapist Elana Katz, the fact that Sanford displays passion, be it true love or mere infatuation, doesn't make his behavior more excusable or forgivable. But it might make it more explainable.