Woman finds Bible helped her understand divorce

Even good Christians will undoubtedly hit some unexpected "land mine" problems during their lives. So what's the best way to handle these crises?

Attorney and educator Sheilah D. Vance from Paoli, Pa., unexpectedly went through a divorce when her husband moved out in 1999 and left her with two children. But she didn't turn to the local bookstore's self-help section when her life was turned upside down. She went to the one book she knew would get her through those trying times — the Bible. Now a decade later, she is happy and knows there are many Christian men and women that are also going through the same thing she experienced. And, there are other family members who have a relative going through a divorce and don't know how to relate to them.

She shares with them, "Six Scriptures To Support People Going Through A Divorce."

"I had been a Christian and known the Lord since I was 12 years old, some 28 years before all of this happened," she said. "Yet, my true spiritual awakening happened during the dark days of my marriage. I drew closer to the Lord as I plied him with questions about the troubles I had in my marriage. And he answered me with scriptures to help rebuild my battered self esteem, step-by-step, word-by-word."

She also has one book out on her divorce, "Land Mines," that incorporates several of the helpful scriptures and a new book coming out by July, "Journaling Through the Land Mines." A third in her book trilogy, "Navigating the Lane Mines," will be out in September of 2010.

Her second book will include blank pages for people to write down some of their feelings and thoughts. She found that a therapeutic process, too.

"I've always relied in the Bible for guidance," Vance told the Deseret News in a telephone interview. "The Bible is a great source for comfort."

Vance feels the Bible is often an underused help for all kinds of problems in life.

Although she writes from a woman's perspective, she said her book clearly shows that no one needs feel alone in the aftermath of a divorce.

Feedback from her advice about where to go in the Bible for help is commonly described as "very self-affirming."

She said her works also help those who know someone in a divorce better understand them and how to assist them.

She prefers the New King James Version of the Bible (NKJV), but uses many different versions herself.

"I didn't get married to get a divorce," she said, noting that she's been dating again and still believes in marriage.

"There's a reason for everything and God has a plan for my life."

Vance is an African Methodist Episcopal and believes after her divorce she is closer to God than ever.

E-mail: lynn@desnews.com