Most of those participating in the study who had close relationships with their fathers had grown up with their fathers as adolescents, and that was where they learned their commitment to family.

Luis, 20, who lived with his father following his parents' divorce, explained the responsibility he felt at the birth of his own son:

"I just, right away I knew I had a responsibility and it was mine so I wasn't going to deny it or try to forget about it or anything. My dad said, 'You've got a responsibility, you'd better take care of him and you'd better do it the best you can.' Basically he just said, 'Be a man.' "

The dads interviewed in the BYU study also cast the birth of their children in life-altering terms.

"When you have a child, that child is depending on you. You have taken your personal interest and your entertainment goals and your selfish non-responsible goals and you're responsible for another person. You have to put the child first. If you've taken the responsibility of having a child, you have to be responsible for it. There is a bit of selflessness in being a parent. If you have a child and you still think that you're going to have your cake and eat it, too, then you'll be a bad parent," said Brian, 31.

Forste said the study helps in understanding the needs of these men who are defining fatherhood as they go.

"They need better parenting skills. I think this is a group we've neglected," she said. "Single mothers get a lot of support, but I think we tend to not think about the fathers."

E-MAIL: mhaddock@desnews.com