The person or persons caught doing this should be taken to the 150 marker of the driving range, blindfolded and anchored. Fire away.

Their pictures, with a copy of this column, should be posted in the clubhouse or locker room of every private and municipal course in the world on some kind of wanted poster or flier. Congress should issue an extermination order.

Next time you see one of these seed-spitters on a golf course, in not so gentle a manner, declare him a real doofus. Cut out this commentary, put in your golf bag and present him with it at the point of infraction.

A doofus like this is a concern for all of us.

The Urban Dictionary defines a doofus:

"Someone who hasn't got a clue. They live in blissful ignorance of the world, fashion, personal hygiene and social skills. Invariably laughs like a baboon being repeatedly punched."

So true is this definition.

Golf course seed-spitters.

They deserve to be put in a cage with Vick's dogs, endure an RSL road game, suffer at least one broken wrist with accompanying surgery and have a 9-iron slapped against their melon heads.

E-mail: dharmon@desnews.com