Time for some rules on names

Today's column is brought to you by you — the readers.

Apparently, my recent column on weird people names struck a nerve. There are strong feelings about alternate spellings — Soozy, Mychal, Stefanee, Arika — and "made-up" names — Diggery, Moon Unit, Le-a (I'll explain later) and so forth.

One reader wrote: At my job, I take appointments, and I'm required to write down the person's name with correct spelling. The strangest spelling I've ever seen is the name "Susie" — spelled "Siouxzy."

From a reader named Jo Ellen: Two true stories from a niece who worked as a nurse in a St. Louis, Mo., hospital: A baby named "Le-a." Want to try to guess the pronunciation? "La-dash-a." (Note: This name was reported by several readers, as was Da-Da or "DaDashda"). There was also a baby boy named Marco. Want to try to guess the pronunciation? "D-marco." To quote the mother, "The d is invisible."

From Pat, an editor with the Springville Herald: You just have to work at a newspaper to realize how far parents have gone to force their offspring to spell their names for everyone they meet. I ran across this one as I typed a cutline yesterday: ChaiDee Woods — pronounced "Shady."

A pharmacist reported that his staff became so amused by all the weird spellings of names that one employee began recording them in a notebook. "Just when you think you've seen it all, you are surprised yet again," he wrote.

Some readers proposed a list of naming rules, most of them coming from a reader named Jo Ellen (not JoEllyn or JoeEllin). Here are some guidelines for future parents to consider:

1. If you can't walk into a truck stop or gift shop and find a key chain or a coffee cup with that name or the same spelling, then try something else.

2. You must be able to determine the gender of the child when you hear/see the name. No more girls named Stevie, Mychal, Jordan, Chase, Devon, Drew, Kyle or, for all we know, Harold and Arthur.

3. You must be able to say it when you see it. Use of punctuation doesn't even come up for consideration. Le-a is out. If you plan to name your next kid "& Smith" or "* Johnson" and expect anyone to call him/her "Asterisk" or "Ampersand," think again.