3. Aspiring screenwriters can also benefit from seeing "Seven Pounds" because it may boast one of the most incoherent scripts in movie history. It's an object lesson in how to quickly lead an audience into utter confusion with non-linear storytelling. Films such as "Pulp Fiction" and "Memento" successfully play slice-and-dice with time and tease the audience along the way. The ability to do this successfully is a rare gift. Given their ability to inflict great harm, screenwriters who want to attempt non-linear storytelling should be licensed in the same manner as doctors or pilots.

The word "incoherent," as mentioned above, best describes "Seven Pounds," but simply leaving it at that is unfair to its many other qualities. As a vocabulary challenge, it's possible to say more using only words that start with prefix "in." In addition to incoherent, apply inexplicable, inane, inept, inert, infuriating, insufferable, intolerable, inglorious, inferior, inexpedient, ineffective, inefficacious, ineloquent, inelegant, indefensible, indecipherable, incompetent, inaccessible, inadequate, insipid, intemperate and inutile.

Finally, add the word "infinite," which is how it feels to sit in a theater and watch "Seven Pounds" unfold on screen. Science and human experience suggest the perception of time is subjective, meaning "Seven Pounds" lasts anywhere from two hours to one week to one year, and so on to infinity. That means "Seven Pounds," in addition to being a bad movie, is a kind of temporal anomaly that can trap the unwary. It may be wise, then, to forget this movie's value as a public service. If, in the future, you should find yourself near a theater or TV screen on which "Seven Pounds" is playing, look away. Let science to deal with this problem.

The Movie Masochist is an emotionally wounded cinephile who lives in the United States. He watches bad movies so you don't have to.