Only jeers for this Christmas clunker

FOUR CHRISTMASES — * 1/2 — Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, brief sex, violence, profanity, brief drugs, slurs).

It's both appropriate and ironic that "Four Christmases" ends with a vomit gag. After all, the film has already regurgitated so many sour romantic comedy and holiday movie cliches at that point that audiences may feel a little queasy themselves.

It's either that, or they'll be completely annoyed by this noxious, nearly laughless Christmas comedy, which also features the chemistry-free pairing of Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. They play Brad and Kate, a pair of selfish yuppies in a committed, but so far non-marital, relationship.

The couple is planning to spend their Christmas in Fiji. But due to foggy conditions, their flight has been canceled for at least a day, and now they're obliged to at least pop in to see their families — four of them in all, due to divorces and such.

The problem is Brad and Kate lied about what they were doing (they said they were performing charitable work).

First up is Brad's white-trash father (Robert Duvall) and his two, ultimate-fighting-obsessed brothers (Tim McGraw and Jon Favreau), as well as his free-love-believing, hippie mother (Sissy Spacek).

Kate's folks aren't that much better — at least judging by her born-again Christian mother (Mary Steenburgen). Her father (Jon Voight) does seem normal, though.

There was rumored squabbling between Vaughn and Witherspoon on the set, and you can believe it. At times, you can sense there's real tension — not the good kind — between these two.

It doesn't help that he's repeating his motor-mouthed riffing routine, which has become tiresome.

About the only bright spots here are Kristin Chenoweth and longtime Vaughn associate Favreau. And it's sad to see that the veterans in the supporting cast — Duvall, Spacek, Steenburgen and Voight — were so desperate that they had to take this paycheck.

"Four Christmases" is rated PG-13 and features some crude sexual and digestive jokes and references (slang and sight gags), mostly comic violence (pratfalls, including household mishaps, as well as some brawling), a brief sex scene, scattered strong profanity, brief drug references (narcotics), and some derogatory language (including slurs based on sexual preference). Running time: 89 minutes.

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E-mail: jeff@desnews.com