When my father was in graduate school at Indiana University, our family was invited to his department chairman's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I must have been all of 6 years old at the time, but I remember how nice the house was and how delicious the dinner was.

When it was time for dessert, I offered to help take the plates of pie from the kitchen to the table.

Yes, while carrying a plate of pie into the dining room, I tripped on the edge of the Oriental rug. Yes, I remember seeing the pie fly through the air and land with a splat on the rug. Yes, I was embarrassed, but probably not as embarrassed as my parents.

No, I don't recall that our family was ever invited to that house for dinner again.

With Thanksgiving dinner coming up next week, I'm reminded of the pie incident — and the need to be good guests wherever we're invited.

Andrew Boorstyn offers these tips for guests on Reader's Digest's www.rd.com:

Arrive no earlier than the time the host has announced and no later than half an hour after the time.

Plan to stay about an hour after dinner unless travel plans or sleepy children necessitate leaving earlier.

Take a gift and write a note of thanks afterward.

Offer to help set up for dinner and to clean afterward.

Notify the host of any special dietary needs — if you are a vegetarian, diabetic or allergic to common foods. You can tell the host how to prepare a dish you can eat, or even better, offer to bring that dish yourself.

If you're going to a potluck Thanksgiving, take a serving dish with your contribution. Remember, the best potluck dishes are those that need minimal preparation in the host's kitchen, can be served at room temperature and require only a fork to eat.

One more tip he didn't include: Don't put a plate of pumpkin pie in the hands of a 6-year-old anywhere near that nice rug.

Robert Walsh

rwalsh@desnews.com