Pastor's dying words still an inspiration

"It was hard. It was good. It was really amazing," Diane Turner recalls. "We had a service, and we scattered his ashes. We all cried. We all laughed."

The journal comforted his family and friends. The depth of his suffering, and the belief and love that outlasted it, inspired many who never knew him.

"It was a gift," Diane Turner said.

Over the years, she has allowed excerpts of the journal to be printed in several publications, including this one. A Backpacker magazine article by Jeff Rennicke drew widespread attention and was included in the book "Adrenaline 2002: The Year's Best Stories of Adventure and Survival." But parts of the journal are private, including personal messages the Rev. Turner wrote to his wife, their three children and his mother.

"Not being able to say goodbye was hard," Diane Turner said. "But because he was able to, that made it a little easier."

Their daughter Jill said she rereads the journal every six months or so, drawing inspiration from her father's faith: challenged and battered, but steadfast.

His last, barely legible entries echo biblical accounts of hardship and devotion.

"I am ready to die, though missing my family. ... I will trust in God though he will slay me, yet will I trust in him."