Ready to wed
Faiths urge couples to prepare for marriage
The couple had been engaged for nearly a year. They had talked a lot about future plans.
But after spending a weekend at a Catholic Engaged Encounter, Crystal Painter said she realized they had never really "dug into the deep topics," such as family planning and how to effectively deal with differences. She believes their pre-marriage preparation has made a significant difference in their relationship.
"For couples who really want a successful marriage, we highly recommend such a weekend," said Painter, who now coordinates local Engaged Encounters with her husband.
There is a multitude of research to support her assertion. One example comes from a 2003 study co-authored by Jason Carroll from Brigham Young University, which showed couples who complete a premarital education program have a "30 percent increase in measures of marital success" such as communication and relationship satisfaction.
While some states, such as Oklahoma and Florida, have passed laws that strongly incentivize couples who receive marital education, for the most part, various faith groups still lead the way in preparing couples for marriage. In Utah, many groups are requiring training beyond just faith-centric topics, also teaching couples how to resolve conflict, communicate better and love their differences.
It's something the Painters believe can slow the nation's divorce rate of about 40 percent to 45 percent from creeping upward.
For the Rev. Steve Goodier of Salt Lake City's Christ United Methodist Church, premarital training is something he has strongly urged during his ministry. When meeting with couples, he will talk about things such as faith and the sanctity of the marriage commitment, but he also discusses issues such as marital expectations, communication, money, sex and the background of each partner.
"Most couples I talk with really aren't good communicators," he said. "They're good at communicating where to go out to dinner, but not the heartfelt things it's hard to say those things to each other."
Earlier this week, the Rev. Goodier met with Tom and Marcie Conner of Cottonwood Heights to discuss the couple's plans to renew their vows today. The Conners celebrated 10 years of marriage on Friday and said, while they didn't receive any preparation prior to marriage, they have learned that communication and commitment are key to sticking together.
Commitment, according to the Rev. Goodier, is the number one reason you hear from couples with a strong relationship about why they've stayed together.
For the most part, Scott Stanley with the University of Denver believes premarital training can allow a couple to recognize potential issues and also discuss topics they may be avoiding. He said couples in modern society often make major relationship decisions without truly knowing their partner.
Recent comments
Calm down. I'm pretty sure they aren't getting anything from...
Re: Re:Theortically | Sept. 8, 2008 at 12:50 p.m.
Most couples spend more time planning the wedding than they do...
longtimereader | Sept. 7, 2008 at 5:45 p.m.
I'll buy the book! Woo hoo! Thanks for the great article. I wouldn't...
Ang | Sept. 6, 2008 at 11:36 p.m.
- Chaffetz joins war on drugs 4:54 p.m.
- Diagonal parking disappearing 4:53 p.m.
- Marion to Mavs, Stackhouse to Griz 4:37 p.m.
- 3 reservations get federal boost 4:23 p.m.
- Godfrey vetoes Ogden budget 4:13 p.m.
- Animals removed from feces 4:12 p.m.
- S.L. big response to small fire 4:04 p.m.
- Yankees sweep Twins 3:49 p.m.
- Utah gets grant for job training 3:36 p.m.
- For icon Jackson, an iconic casket 3:36 p.m.
- Blazers may offer Millsap a contract
- Utah's top 10: Wealth of recreation
- MWC, WAC rushed into BCS
- O'Connor unhappy Fes not with team
- Restaurant burns in 3-alarm fire
- Keeping golf light on the wallet
- River flow marks birth of sanctuary
- Teen injured in fall from waterfall
- Fatigued Jazz no match for Pacers
- Murder charge filed in shooting
- Bronco collecting a galaxy of recruits
138 - Letters: Palin mistreated
136 - Teachers struggle with district cuts
134 - 'Tea party' protesters unhappy
107 - Blazers may offer Millsap a contract
102 - Fairness of BCS debated
81 - Stadium of Fire lights up the 4th
79 - Chaffetz eyes challenging Bennett
72 - Millsap not franchise player
70 - Services bids farewell to Jackson
70
As more and more dads are put out of work in this economy, I've been...
In the end it was Michael Jackson, the father, who left me with a...
Tax the rich, until there are no rich no more....thus eliminating any chance...
Whoever runs this tournament must be "jumping the shark" to invite someone...
that you will be in the summer league! How tough is that? As the...
Anyone who ever said a dog was man's best friend never had a pet chimpanzee....
Ok, there may be a large need, but how are we going to pay for it? Just...
I congratulate Observer 4:26 on being a well-read person. Brother Chuck still...
and thank god us liberals don't think like you do! just remember we pretty...
It says God IS spirit, NOT God is "A" spirit, ponder that.
So it's perfectly all right for students and archeologists to dig up Indian...
This Harry Potter cult fan base is creepy. Not even the Trekkies or Dr.Who...



