DENVER — I'm guessing you might be a lot like me when it comes to national political nominating conventions. Dazed and frankly confused. Are there secret handshakes? Hazing? Special passwords? Does anyone do anything?

But after three days at the Democratic National Convention, I think I'm starting to figure it out.

First, there are four basic groups of people that make up the convention "scene." These include protesters, of which there are approximately seven, all looking like Joan Baez or Bob Dylan; the police, who follow around the protesters; the media, who follow around the police; and the political delegations, who get dressed up every evening and listen to speeches at an arena that can't fit them all in.

Over four days, the delegates have two votes they have to answer to: One, are you present? And two, who do you want for president?

After the second vote, which has already been decided ahead of time, everybody goes back home.

I had this part explained to me by Todd Taylor, a former chiropractor who is now executive director of the Utah Democratic Party and is attending his fifth national convention here in Denver.

"There's a lot to do, but not much to do," he says. "The business business could be taken care of in a day."

He admits it took him a few conventions to sort it all out — and to learn to pace himself.

"At my first convention I remember thinking, 'Oh GREAT, it's a weeklong cocktail party!"' he says.

"At my second one I thought, 'Oh great, it's a weeklong cocktail party!' By my third one I realized, 'It's a weeklong cocktail party — and I get to choose my parties."'

The best way he can describe what goes on besides the cocktail parties, namely the nightly gatherings at the Pepsi Center for speeches followed by more speeches, is "group theater."

"We're actors," he explains. "We sit in our seats, and when there's a call-out, we go crazy ... and the media shows it on television, and that's how America gets introduced to the nominee and our message."

A "call-out" is when a person known as the "section cheerleader" tells those in their seats to hold up the sign or banner they've been handed ahead of time that says "Change" or "Kennedy" or "Michelle" or "Obama" or some other rallying cry, and stand up and scream.

The cheering and sign-waving is genuine, but it's about as spontaneous as a moon launching.