And some of you will make it to the next round of the auditions even if you don't have an ounce of talent. During Season 6, executive producer Ken Warwick explained why one tone-deaf young man was sent on to the next round — "There has to be entertainment there as well, and no one can say that that guy wasn't entertaining."

In other words, that guy — and some of this week's hopefuls — will be sent into the judges' lair as cannon fodder. And you won't see it coming.

"They say, 'I can bring it. I can bring it,"' Abdul said.

"They'll say that, and I'll look at them, and I'm inches in front of their faces. And they're serious," host Ryan Seacrest said.

"We always said, when we came up with the idea of this show, if anyone could look inside a real-life audition, they would truthfully be amazed," Cowell said. "It is part of the fun and the wackiness of this show. People do turn up to 'Idol' or real-life auditions, and they are terrible. And they don't know it."

Cowell will, of course, be happy to disabuse you of your erroneous notions. And he won't feel guilty about doing so.

"What you don't see on camera is that we will go and talk to everybody before we start filming, introduce ourselves and basically go, 'All right. Is everyone good today? Are you going to win?"' Cowell said.

Invariably, he's greeted by screams of "Yes!"

After warning anyone that a less-than-good audition could result in the judges giving them a "hard time," hopefuls are offered a chance to back out. And "100 percent" of them — even the terrible ones — scream that they really believe they're going to win.

"What are you watching and what are you listening to? We're just amazed that someone can show up and be that bad," Jackson said.

Of course, some of you know you're bad and are just looking to get on TV.

"Anyone who gets on national television and is murdered by these three (judges), they go home and they're a national hero," Warwick said.

But some of you might be surprised, nonetheless.

"We can pretty much sniff out ones who are there to just get their moment on television," Abdul said. "And we surprise them when they're done. Simon will go, 'That was great.'

"And you see them go, like, 'Get out!"'

If it makes you feel any better, the judges can be just flat-out wrong. Even Cowell readily admits, "This is not a perfect science." And, remember, he didn't have much nice to say about then-future Academy Award-winner Jennifer Hudson,

"That girl came into the room. I went, 'Oscar!"' joked Cowell, to whom the idea never came close to occurring.

But even with the long odds and the threat of humiliation on national TV, thousands of you will be singing your little hearts out on Tuesday. And it's not hard to understand why.

"We change people's lives for the rest of their lives," Abdul said rather redundantly but nonetheless accurately. "And real superstars come out of that."

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com