Have fun replacing Favre, kid

If it makes you feel any better, the Colts, Jets, Dolphins and Broncos still haven't found replacements for their legends, and now those legends are getting senior discounts at Sizzler. Oh, that doesn't make you feel better?

You can do this, Aaron. You've waited for this day. You've been jerked around like a yo-yo. Every off-season Mister Favre pulls a Michael Jordan and hints about retirement, only to return. This season he actually retired. Then he wanted to unretire. But, wait, then he wanted to un-unretire. Now, he wants to come back again. Just retire already, I say.

Now we've got the messiest breakup since Brad and Jen. The Packers are holding the line: They're giving the job to you. They want Favre to stay retired, but if he insists on returning, they said he'll have to be your backup. Great! That'll be like having your dad in the passenger seat the first time you take the car out for a spin.

It was bad enough following a retired legend. Now he wants to return. Now we've got Packer fans holding rallies for Favre's return to the team. Not that there's any pressure. You'll just have to play like Joe Montana on his best day, every game. The first time you make a mistake, the first time your shoe comes untied, the first time you have a hangnail, you're outta there.

Can you hear me, kid?

How weird is this? The Packers' "second-string" quarterback is so good that the Packers don't want him to play for another team because he might beat them, and yet they don't want to give him their starting job.

Of course, maybe Favre will get his wish to be released and sign with another team, but that won't help. That will make you the guy who put him in another uniform, and that's just too strange to imagine.

Kid, do yourself a favor: Offer the job back to Favre. You'll be a hero. It's the only way you can really win. You can wait another year. Favre brought this on himself — but you're the one who will pay for it.

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E-mail: drob@desnews.com