Lame 'Secret Life' centers on teen sex, pregnancy
Scott D. Pierce
This new ABC Family series, which premieres tonight at 9 on the cable channel, comes to us from "7th Heaven" creator/executive producer Brenda Hampton.
And there are myriad similarities between the two shows. "Secret Life" is about families, seen through the prism of teenagers. There are characters clearly identified as Christians. And even the good characters make bad mistakes.
There's also the same sort of ham-fisted writing, stilted dialogue, bad acting, utterly unbelievable characters and lame humor that so often plagued "7th Heaven."
In tonight's premiere, we meet Amy (Shailene Woodley of "The O.C."), a sweet, smart, seemingly innocent 15-year-old who is the pride and joy of her parents (Molly Ringwald and Mark Derwin). Amy is also pregnant, the result of a brief encounter at band camp.
Again, Amy is the good girl.
At the other end of the spectrum, there's bad girl Adrian (Francia Raisa), who's currently (sort of) dating Ricky (Daren Kagosoff), who happens to be the boy who got Amy pregnant.
But that character is blunted by giving him an excuse for his behavior — something we learn when Ricky visits his therapist (Ernie Hudson).
It's not like Adrian is strongly holding out. She won't have sex with a boy until the third date.
And when Christian good girl Grace (Megan Park) invites Ricky and Adrian to a church dance, Adrian declines because, "My mom is out of town, so we're going over to my house to drink beer and have sex."
She wasn't kidding.
There's lots of rather frank talk about sex — these kids think nothing of asking the school counselor for condoms — but we don't see anything beyond flirting and making out in the pilot.
There are a lot of touches here that are pure Brenda Hampton, like the Christian couple. Grace and her football-star boyfriend, Jack (Greg Finley), have both pledged to remain virgins until they get married.
Of course, only one of them holds out for the entire first episode ... so, immediately, one of the Christians is a huge hypocrite.
And because of horrendous dialogue and Park's inability to act, Grace comes off as completely phony. Which is unfortunate because, as with "7th Heaven," there's real potential with the characters of Grace and her parents (John Schneider of "Smallville" and Josie Bissett of "Melrose Place").
Recent comments
Sounds about as stupid and contrived as anything else on television...
The Authority | July 2, 2008 at 9:52 a.m.
Weather you like it or not teens lives are full of drama, wasn'...
Anne | July 2, 2008 at 7:59 a.m.
Talk to your kids. Spend time with them.
Anonymous | July 1, 2008 at 5:56 p.m.
