What I want to know is this: If I vote for Hillary, is this the ultimate betrayal and abandonment of blacks? After all, Obama is half black, which is close enough if you're looking for a black candidate — think of it as a biological, political compromise — to get behind. What would the NAACP say to Kennedy if he threw his support behind Hillary? How many nanoseconds would it take until Jesse Jackson showed up on his doorstep?

It's confusing, very confusing.

If I vote for Obama or Hillary, I am abandoning Mormons and evangelicals — think Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee.

But if I vote for Mitt or Huck, I am abandoning the elderly. John McCain is pushing 72 years old. He's got warts that are older than Obama. I certainly don't want to betray People with White Hair.

Furthermore, if I vote for someone other than McCain, could this be construed as an abandonment of our military veterans and former prisoners of war?

Decisions, decisions. I want to cast a politically correct vote, regardless of silly things such as how candidates stand on certain issues or their ability to get the job done, but politically correct for whom?

The only real politically correct candidate out there is Gladys Knight — black, female, Mormon and pushing the age thing (64). The Knight-Pip ticket is the way to go, but as far as I know she hasn't declared her candidacy yet.

NOW's anti-Kennedy rant might strike you as ironic — telling people they should vote for Hillary because she is a woman is pretty much the same thing as voting for Barack because he is a man. It also might strike you as strange that an organization that doesn't want women to be judged for their gender wants you to vote for Hillary because of her gender.

But that's just because you're an un-politically correct rube.

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Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. Please e-mail drob@desnews.com