Then there's the local favorite, Romney, but a lot of people wonder what he really stands for — this week. He's a bit of a "Ken," as in Ken and Barbie. He's got the perfect hair and winning smile, and a house that doesn't have walls on the backside so that large people can play in it. If you drew a picture of what a president is supposed to look like, you would draw Mitt. But who knows him? He's become too much of a politician. He's flip-flopped like Hulk Hogan. Memo to Mitt: Simply state what you stand for and let the votes fall where they will.

I'm still wondering how Rudy Giuliani ever turned up on the radar for presidential candidates. Most will point to his handling of 9/11 while he was the mayor of New York, but did he do anything anyone wouldn't have done if he had been mayor? On the other hand, I have seen it reported that Giuliani is being backed by JON VOIGT!

Hillary is considered one of the favorites, which causes a lot of people to break out in hives. I keep hoping they mean Swank. Or Duff. Hillary Clinton reminds me of my fourth-grade homeroom teacher, Miss Connelly, who liked to pull so hard on the facial appendages of her students that today there are several 50ish adults walking around without ears. On the other hand, she could do for pantsuits what Jackie did for pillboxes and wouldn't that be swell? She says she's experienced because she served as advisor/baby sitter to her husband when he was president after naming herself official White House Buttinski. This is also about the time people started to formulate a dislike for her, so maybe she shouldn't mention it anymore.

Barack Obama is an excellent, charismatic speaker. This will be great if the United States ever starts a national debate team or holds a congeniality contest. No one talks about his experience because he doesn't have any.

Then there is McCain. He's a former war hero and POW. Notwithstanding, he has a "likability" problem, the perception being that he is feisty and irascible. Doesn't he just look grouchy?

And finally there is Edwards. He's not just a lawyer, he's a personal injury lawyer. I can hear the jokes already.

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Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. Please e-mail drob@desnews.com.