MormonSpeak: Day of defense
Not the ¯CSI¯ kind the public speaking kind.
I was a member of the debate team, but to tell the truth I wasn¯t smart enough to actually be a debater. Debaters have a firm grasp of the facts, they have to be able to make their case dynamically and they need to be able to think on their feet. I tended to have only a vague familiarity with the facts, I was better at telling stories than thinking on my feet and I could never come up with the right thing to say until 30 minutes after the debate was over.
So Mr. B, our debate coach, made me an orator. I wasn¯t much with facts and quick thinking, but give me a memorized speech and a captive audience and I was good to go.
All of which is probably why the first few weeks of my mission were frustrating for me well, that and a cute high school junior named Becky, who I had left behind. I was called to serve in Southern California and my first area was Costa Mesa at the time a hot bed of anti-Mormon propaganda. It seemed that every other block featured at least one home that was fully stocked with the latest in anti-Mormon literature, published right there in Costa Mesa. And the people who possessed this propaganda were usually ready and anxious to wage theological warfare:
¯ ¯Are you aware that in your Journal of Discourses Brigham Young says that Adam and Eve were actually talking toads?¯
¯ ¯This couple from Utah and they should know because once they actually inhaled air on the same block as a Mormon meetinghouse they said that you pray to a chipmunk and dance the Hokey-Pokey in your temples.¯
¯ ¯Your Book of Mormon says that Alma drove a Corvette. How is that possible since there is no scientific evidence of Corvettes in America until several centuries later?¯
Every time we bumped into one of these folks my blood would boil. I knew there were answers to these questions I just didn¯t know what the answers were. Nine years of Primary, 15 years of Sunday School, three years of Seminary (including one during which I actually paid attention . . . sort of) and six days in the Mission Home in Salt Lake City had given me a lot of information but few answers. The debater in me limited though he may have been yearned to do some research and to arm myself with facts and figures. But mission rules required that I focus all of my study time on memorizing the discussions and the accompanying scriptures.
I couldn¯t prep for Mr. Anti-Mormon until I was fully prepped for Mr. Brown.
So I studied hard, memorized fast and said ¯uh¯ and ¯um¯ and ¯would you mind repeating that?¯ when people wanted to ¯Bible bash¯ at the door.
Recent comments
I had a similar experience in high school. I (LDS) argued a friend...
manaen | Dec. 11, 2007 at 8:45 p.m.
I should have read this 15 minutes ago. Well I really didn't bash...
Oops! | Dec. 11, 2007 at 4:00 p.m.
Thank you for sharring that. It is a message that is needed, and one...
Arlin | Dec. 11, 2007 at 1:03 p.m.
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