As he lay dying, John reflected upon his most educational experiences in his lifetime; foremost, of course, was his most recent lesson — never taunt a unicorn. —Kim Gabbitas

The (Story) Road Not Taken

If one was to look in the box in Dave's closet, one might find the answer to everything or the answer to nothing, the greatest sight or the most horrible, but this box doesn't figure prominently in the story; in fact, this story is about Dave's pet cow. —Josh Wallace

Sweepstakes

Throughout the whole entire time he trespassed without permission on Lady Gray's private property, being completely surrounded on all sides (rather than partially surrounded or even completely surrounded on three sides and partially surrounded on one) by vicious attack dogs, Roger wondered, "Did I put the toilet seat down?" —Valerie Johnson

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