I'm overwhelmed. You guys sent me nearly 500 sentences this year! Way to go! I love you! So here it is, kids —The Best of the Worst (your Official 2007 Edition)!

Dark and stormy night

It was a dark and stormy night, but Alicia was learning to her great distress that it's going to be that way when you spend the winter in Anchorage and forget to pay your power bill. — Pam Williams

Science Fiction

The spaceship descended slowly, looking like a giant submarine sandwich — except it was made of metal, not bread, and was actually more circular and not so much oblong, and most importantly, the green things inside were sentient alien beings capable of interstellar travel, instead of pickles. — Mike Middleton

Horror

When the young count was suspended from school yet again for biting, Nosferatu's parents began to suspect there was something different about their boy. — Sean Johnson

Talking Unicorn

Her eyes were numinous, her voice mellifluous, her thighs voluminous, and her demeanor opprobrious — indeed, she was the best bouncer the Talking Unicorn had ever had. — David Alvin Edwards

Romance

John first saw the next "love of his life" when he exited the whole foods grocery store and knocked the overly ripe melons she was returning from her large shapely hands — showering both of them with sweet warm fruit. — MacKay Jones

His hot breath was on her knee; his questing tongue caressed her naked flesh and his excited panting rose to a frenzy of anticipation as Desiree reflected that she really ought to stop feeding the dog at the breakfast table. — Ingrid Trausch, DVM

Romance Gone Really Wrong