Do you ever feel mortified because your 12-year-old has to explain how to send a text message?

Has a co-worker ever asked about your MySpace page and you said, "MyWhat?"

Has anyone ever laughed at you because you've never heard of Nickelback?

If so, here's another bit of disconcerting news: The Colorado Rockies are in the World Series.

The sport of Ruth, Aaron, Mays and Musial is being played in the postseason largely by kids young enough to be wearing braces. Catch a post-game interview and you can almost hear their voices cracking.

Rumor has it most of them don't have contracts; they agreed to play for a lifetime supply of Skittles and an advance copy of "Halo 3."

Here they come, like it or not. The Rockies, who were a pitch away from missing the playoffs, have won 21 of their last 22 games and are now just waiting for the World Series to start.

Do their parents know they're out?

Eight Rockies were 25 or younger when the playoffs began. Most days only two of their starting nine are over 30. But they're not just young, they're productive. Jeff Baker, 26, hit the RBI single that generated a sweep of their first-round series. Troy Tulowitzki, who turned 23 last week, hit 24 home runs in the regular season, most of any shortstop in National League history. To top it off, he led all shortstops in fielding percentage.

The pitching staff includes 23-year-old Ubaldo Jimenez, 24-year-old Manny Corpas and 21-year-old Franklin Morales. Five Colorado players in Monday's game were 25 or younger. The up-and-coming Arizona Diamondbacks had a similar demographic makeup — only one starter in his 30s. It looked like an episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi."

You want youth? The Rockies have youth. Denver writers are calling them the kid Rocks. Someone in the press box suggested they wear name tags.

Young and naive as they are, they don't even know their limitations.

Speaking of age, isn't the World Series supposed to belong to tradition-steeped MLB cities like Los Angeles, St. Louis, Detroit and New York? Isn't it supposed to be played in stadiums that smell funny? Instead, part of this year's Series will belong to Colorado, which isn't exactly the birthplace of the squeeze bunt. It's home to the Broncos, ski resorts and purple mountains' majesty, not the Fall Classic.

Colorado is known for inspiring Katharine Lee Bates to write "America the Beautiful." But it's untrue she wrote it from the left-field bleachers at Coors Field. She was actually moved by a visit to Pike's Peak.

While Colorado certainly has its share of fine sports teams — the Avalanche won the Stanley Cup in 1996 and 2001, the Broncos won two Super Bowls — it also has problems. For instance, the always-disappointing Nuggets and CU Buffaloes. Colorado is the only state ever to turn down the Olympics. Something about pollution and population growth that alarmed the public. How's this for alarming: Colorado was the setting for the horror film "The Shining," in which Jack Nicholson scared the pants off his family by chasing them with an ax around a deserted resort hotel.

It was also the setting for "Dumb and Dumber," but we'll leave the punchlines to you.

Now Colorado is home to a young and promising baseball team. True, 34-year-old Todd Helton is the soul of the club, but almost everyone else has pimples. Which is all rather unsettling if you're over 30. Aren't World Series players supposed to look like a grainy photo of Honus Wagner?

Maybe not. Either way, the Rockies are here. They're young, talented and confident.

Best of all, almost any of them can program your cable remote.

---

E-mail: rock@desnews.com