Kind of makes you long for the days of Darnell Arceneaux and T.D. Croshaw.

YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF BODIES!

Seven starters have been sidelined with injuries this year, and two more are doubtful for this weekend. Next thing you know, you'll be suiting up the grounds crew. By the way, who was that dude at practice with the leaf blower and wearing coveralls?

YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE TO THE AGGIES!

Sure, you've won nine in a row against them, but all that means is they're due. When it comes to common opponents, they came a lot closer to beating Vegas than you did. Besides, they're a program with nowhere to go but up. You guys, on the other hand, can still sink lower.

NOBODY WILL SEE YOU PLAY!

There are already 7,000 or 8,000 empty seats on game day. Which raises the age-old question: If your team falls at Rice-Eccles Stadium, but nobody is there to see it, did you actually lose?

YOU HAVE BAD BREATH!

I don't know why I threw that in, but at this point any insult will do. Perhaps it will get you guys motivated. If not, there's always more where that came from. By the time you get to the BYU game, you should be unbeatable. Unless you've already gone home for the winter.

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E-mail: jeborn@desnews.com